I have a Peyton Manning forehead. You heard me. A huge, sky-scraping, Peyton Manning forehead. In case you don't know who Peyton Manning is, he's the most biggest and bestest football quarterback in Colts history. He also has a forehead the size of several Great lakes. Here's a picture of Peyton and his obnoxiously large drive-in movie theater noggin:
Man look at that thing. It's so big that I can't handle it. I've tried to cover up my Peyton Manning forehead with shaggy hair and bowl cuts in the past, but they've done very little to stop it's protruding ways. It's like the top of my head de-evolved a couple thousand years without my permission. I've always been self-conscious of it but it also gives me a small amount of pride. Why? Because a bi-product of this genetic marvel is the ability to give a pretty devastating head-butt. I take comfort in the fact that if it ever comes down to fisticuffs my opponent will receive a face full of dome before they even notice how freakishly large it is. The overhanging brow of my cascading cranium also provides much needed shade for my sensitive eyes. Is my forehead disproportionately large? Yes. Do I feel a little embarrassed special ordering XL hats? Yes. Will it save my life someday? Probably.
